She is changing and growing at a crazy rate. Each day brings new discoveries. As I mentioned, I've had some drafts waiting to be published on the blog, and this is one of them, with some updated parts.
September Long weekend-
 |
| Walking back up to the house after a fantastic sunset swim! |
 |
| We love the Lake so much! I love how E is sticking her tongue out in this one. |
Mummy and Me Trip
Well, the trip out to the Shuswap by myself with E was eventful. I will probably never be willing to drive at that time of night by myself again. I had bought a portable DVD player to set up in the car for E while I drove. I thought this trip would be a piece of cake; 1, maybe 2 movies for E and we would be there. Nope. We left in the evening, which was the first mistake. The highway was actually really creepy and empty, which is so RARE. I almost hit numerous wildlife, and right around Golden, E threw up all over herself, twice. She had been kind of whimpering throughout the drive, especially after I put the movie on. I thought it was just because she was maybe scared or upset about what was happening in the movie (Tigger can be scary when he first shows up!), or that she was tired. I had turned off the DVD about 30 minutes prior to Golden. So, with my upset, tired, and sick baby, plus my stress over crazy wildlife on the road and feeling pretty tired, we made an unexpected stopover in Golden for the night. It was quite the night, with E being unsettled and rolling around in her big bed. I tried sleeping with her for awhile but it was too much; she kept popping her head up to say "hi" to me, rolling all over, crawling on top of me, and just having a really hard time of sleeping. It was a rough night for both of us.
We finally made it to the Lake the next day after another bout of throwing up on E's part. I determined, after consulting with friends and talking with Matthew, that it's likely E gets car sickness. Major bummer, considering we had bought the DVD player hoping that it could make trips our a little more bearable. Oh well...
E and I were alone at the house. It was a tiring yet nice experience to be with E on my own for so long. I quickly realized how important it was for me to get to bed earlier because I was the only one with E the entire time; there was no tag-team action happening with Matt, where I would be able to catch a break. It gave me a whole new perspective on how hard single-moms have it, and I wasn't even working outside of the home at another job! Either way, it was such a great experience to have that time with E. She was so fun and easy to please. We would wake up in the morning and just kind of take it easy, have our breakfast, then get ready to go down to the lake. Once down at the ramp, E would play with the sidewalk chalk, bubbles, water toys or rocks until "we" (I) was hot enough to warrant going into the water. Entering the water for E consisted of me carrying: her in her life-jacket, a bucket, her boat, possibly my camera out to the dock, depositing the said items on the dock, then bending down and scooping up a large handful or two of rocks. The first game would consist of E then throwing all the rocks off of the dock while I "tried" to catch them. She would run to different sides of the dock to get past me, laughing each time she tricked me. Our next game involved me standing on the edge of the dock near the drop off where she pushed me into the water, using both hands, laughing at having pushed me into the water.Then the jumping would begin. She liked going on a certain part of the dock to jump from. While preparing to jump, she would point at all the minnows swimming in the water around my legs, while I said and signed the word "fish" to her. She was always so excited to point out the fishies to me. She would then creep up to the edge of the dock and after counting to three, sometimes unnecessarily since she wouldn't always jump on '3', she would lean forward and fall into my arms. She hasn't quite mastered the "jumping" part, but a free-fall forward is still loads better than the beginning of the summer. After catching her and letting her lower body dip in the water, I would then guide her to the ladder, where she learned to climb up the rungs to get back onto the dock, with my help. She would kind of panic when left in the water, regardless of the fact that I was holding onto her, and I would have to help her get up sometimes, but she definitely made improvements. She would then repeat the falling game until I HAD to stop, usually getting about 20-25 jumps in each day. She never seemed to get tired or bored of falling into my arms, it was usually me suggesting we move onto the next activity; swimming. Putting her boat into the water, I would lower her in, and we would "swim". She wasn't as crazy about going in the boat, so they were always relatively quick swims, oftentimes just heading from the dock to the ramp. Once on the ramp, E figured the lake portion of the morning was done. Holding onto her towel, she would crawl into her stroller, or later in the week when we were worried about the bear on the property, the car and we would go back up to the house to change, have lunch and take a nap. After a nap, we sometimes went back down to the lake, or sometimes just hung out up at the house, playing with all the toys Grandma and Grandpa Choo-Choo have there. Some nights we would take a dip in the hot tub before going for her bath. She loved playing in the hot tub, and was always very reluctant to leave. She loved the trains passing by, and would always run to the window to see them and point them out to me; often escaping out onto the deck and waving at the conductors. E also really loved buckles while we were out there, feeling the need to constantly buckle up the high chair restraints and her life jacket buckles, over and over again. She loves buckles! Luckily she only knows how to do them up, not undue them. (Coincidentally, since returning, the buckle obsession has continued. She can't walk by her booster seat or be put in the car without doing up her own buckles. It takes a lot longer to strap her in now, but I've found it's better to let her try doing the buckles on her own, then check them when she's done, rather than me take over and deal with the possible emotional fall out.)
 |
| Doing a great job of blowing bubbles |
 |
| Bear-Aware! Ready to go down to the Lake for the day |
 |
| Loving our time together, relaxing and enjoying the beach |
Prayers
While we were out at the Lake, I also started having E 'say' the prayers for our meals and at bedtime. When I first asked her to say the prayer for our super, she immediately folded her arms and started 'talking'. As I sat there listening, thinking it was mostly gibberish and she wasn't really saying anything, I heard her clearly say "Daddy". E was actually saying her own little prayer, I have no doubt about it. I might not have been able to understand most of what she was saying, but I believe that she was fully praying and speaking to God. It was a humbling and touching moment. My heart was full as I listened to her finish her earnest and sincere attempt to pray. How wonderful it must be for Heavenly Father to hear and know the words and intentions of her gentle little heart that she spoke that night. Since that first time, she has gotten so good at it! The prayers she says are relatively simple, but she is able to repeat the last word for each phrase you say (Ex- Thank you for the FOOD). I think what I love most about her prayers right now is how she pronounces Jesus Christ. "Jesus" is actually a pretty tricky word to say, and when she says it, it sounds more like "she-shush" "kwi-st" but who cares?!?!?!!! Also, when you try and coach her to say "Jesus Christ", you can't break them up into the individual words. For example if I prompt her to say "Jesus", she will repeat that back just fine. When I try to prompt her to say "Christ", she often chimes in with a chirpy little "amen", rather than repeating back "Christ". Oh, she makes me laugh. I love this girl. We have noticed that E becomes very shy about praying in front of people other than Matt and myself, often not doing so. I know she is shy, which is fine. It reminds me of how Tracey Hogg, the author of The Baby Whisperer book, says that you shouldn't expect your child to perform like a circus animal. Duly noted. I don't care if she doesn't pray in front of others yet; I'm just so proud of her for learning how to pray. I hope it continues to be a lifelong habit; communing daily with our Heavenly Father.
Talking
E's vocabulary has really taken off. I remember being worried when her doctor asked at one of her wellness checkups how many words she was saying, and that she wasn't doing as well as she could have been. Again, Tracey Hogg's wisdom helped me to feel less anxious. E is developing in so many ways right now: physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. I just need to be patient and keep doing what I've been doing with her since she was born; talking, talking, talking. Matt and I learned quickly that she has understood a lot more than she could communicate for a quite awhile. Even though she may not be able to speak as much to us, she definitely understands and is learning. We try and talk to her and with her as much as we can. She whips out words we didn't even know she knows, at the most random times. As she and I were leaving the gym one day, she pointed up at the sky and said, clear as a bell, "plane". Following the direction of her little finger pointing into the sky, sure enough, there was a plane flying by. So cool. She will point at pictures and label the things she sees. She will point out the car window as we're driving at the trucks and the moon. Walking outside, running errands, watching cartoons, eating meals, playing with her toys, she is saying more and more words. It's really cool. It seems that its really exploded in the last few months, her vocabulary, and we are so loving it.
Puzzles
E is a whiz with puzzles. We have a basket of puzzles, all different kind. She often pulls them out and spreads the pieces throughout the house. On any random day you can find puzzle pieces tucked between the cushions, in her play kitchen, under the couch, in her purse, on her booster seat and anywhere else but the basket they belong in. One night, I pulled all the pieces together, organizing them into piles beside the puzzle boards, and had her attempt each puzzle. Amazingly, she was able to quickly complete all the puzzles, over ten of them, without any hesitation. You could see her scan the open spaces, then find the corresponding piece on the floor, and then easily fit it into the correct spot. I was blown away. She had trouble with one puzzle piece, a starfish that was tricky to figure out which way it went because of its shape, but that was it. It was so neat to see how she's progressed so much since the last time we'd done puzzles together. I thought she only liked the puzzles for the fact that she could spread them all over the house. Very happy to say that I was wrong.
Books
I started reading books to E since she was probably a week or two old. I have a deep love for books, and reading in general, and I really want to pass that passion onto my children. E has always had books around to play with and read. She will sometimes go into her room, grab a couple of books off the ground, climb up into the rocking chair with her teddy, and then sit and read aloud to herself. Being in the other room, hearing her reading aloud to herself is so great. True, she can be a little destructive with her books, ripping of the covers, splitting pages, pulling off tabs and so on, but she loves her books. Reading books to her has changed as well, in that now for each page we have a conversation about what's happening in the pictures, which animals or objects we can identify, counting things and describing different colours or emotions. It's a much more interactive experience with her when we read now. I'm so glad that she's seeming to enjoy reading as much as I do, seeking out books on her own to explore and read. Also, recently every adult female and male in her books is "Mommy" and "Daddy" respectively; so sweet.
 |
| Who doesn't love falling asleep while reading a good book? |
I know this time has been rough for her, in different ways. We haven't played together as much, gone to the park or other fun places as much. She's been carted around to different people's houses on a daily basis, seeing very little of me. She's become much more clingy to me when we're at home together, even when Matt's around. It hasn't been the easiest or most predictable of times for her.
Yet, she has really impressed me through all this craziness. Even though she's been moved around from pillar to post, she is still happy and kind. Everyone who has taken her for a morning or day has said that she was really, really good. When they come to pick her up, after her initial shyness, she will hold their hand and walk out the door with them, waving and saying "bye bye" to me. She has made this so much easier in that I know she's being taken care of and not too upset. Truly, I feel that this has been one of the most apparent blessings throughout this trial, E's willingness to go with others and be so happy and well-behaved.
During that first week of my miscarriage, when I was still actively miscarrying, the healing balm for my soul at the end of every evening was going into her room, picking her up and rocking her for as long as I needed to. She would continue sleeping, not disturbed by my crying or rocking, stroking my fingers through her soft hair and just being her mommy at that moment. Each day was really hard, and I was grateful to make it to the end of each one.
Physically, she has helped me to heal. My body has gone through labour, with all of its accompanying hormones. I can't hold the babies I've lost, but being able to hold E has provided me with the way to still receive the hormonal benefits of holding your baby. By being able to hold my sweet little girl, I am still able to have the benefits of "baby love", namely the release of oxytocin and dopamine, two important hormones that assist with decreasing stress hormones, relieving pain, healing and also act as an antidepressant. Holding this little girl each night has helped me feel the benefits of baby bonding that I've lost out on. If you don't believe me, I would encourage you to research 'attachment parenting', baby bonding, and the bodies release and response to oxytocin and dopamine. Holding her has healed me and helped me so much.
Emotionally, she has also helped me to heal. As I mentioned, E has become quite clingy the past few weeks, in that when she's home with me, she wants to be with me, like, RIGHT with me, often putting herself into my lap, sitting beside me or just crawling all over me. Even when Matthew's home and taking care of her, she is finding her way to me, climbing up into the bed and snuggling down into my arms beside me, pulling the blanket up over us. If I'm sleeping, she will wander up the stairs, calling out to me, wanting to be with me, forcing Matt to take her back downstairs while she cries. He has put her to bed countless nights lately where she will just lay there and cry. As soon as I go in to hug and kiss her goodnight, she quickly falls asleep. She has made me feel so needed and loved. Helped me stay away, most of the time, from the dark places in my mind I might otherwise be traveling to. She is my reason for continuing each day, even though they may be only small things like brushing my teeth that day, or taking a shower. She makes me want to try.
Once again, I will proclaim to all that I have an amazing daughter. She is my joy. I thank God for her each day. She has blessed my life.
 | ||
| Just love this girl and all her crazy antics! |
 |
| E's beautiful pumpkin painting |
No comments:
Post a Comment
Please feel free to share your thoughts and experiences.